Loss itself is not enigmatic. What’s most frustrating is the visceral: the how and the why. Even when the cause of death is known it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact way in which someone came into your life and how they managed to touch you as uniquely as they did. Often the bereaved is left frozen in a combination of shock and fear. There are ways the numb the senses but they can’t ease the burden of grief; eventually, you have to do the heavy lifting.